Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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