if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
