All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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