You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
