You're so nebulous sometimes
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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