Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
