During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
