Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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