There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is this like a preordered booty call?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
