and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
