And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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