And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
