He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
