there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
