KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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