WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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