Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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