Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
