I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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