something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
