oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
as a side note pls kill me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
