what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
