I CAN MOONWALK!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
