im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Randomize
