the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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