how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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