Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
