I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
