I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
