Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
