hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
