i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
