If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
