Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
