so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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