Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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