You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
