If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
