Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
