yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
