apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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