she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
