Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
