I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
