You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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