i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
