My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
