The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Buhtt sex?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
