he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
