He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
