I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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