I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
