3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
